Best Self Family Post
Building Happiness: How Parents Can Help Children & Teens
9/20/17
Growing up, your child is going to experience every emotion under the sun: happy, mad, proud, sad, and more. These are all normal and even important experiences. As parents, it is also normal for you to struggle with seeing your child struggle. We can’t expect them to feel happy all the time. However, we can help them work through unhappiness and refocus their attention to the good things in life. So this begs the question, what can you do to help build your own child’s happiness?
Do What We Enjoy: Discover and follow your child’s unique interests, what they enjoy doing the most. Encourage them to make these things a part of their everyday routine as much as possible. For example, if they like music, encourage them to make time to listen to music or learn to play an instrument. As a parent, you can ask questions about their subject of interest and encourage them to share it with you. Having them do what they enjoy more regularly helps keep them busy and better able to bounce back from difficult experiences.
Keep People Close: Does your child have a supportive network of people around them? Peers, family or teachers who provide positive encouragement? Is there enough space in their schedule for time spent around these people? You can teach your child to value quality time with others, in addition to their academics and extracurricular activities. Set a positive example by showing your child how you prioritize time with friends and family. Social connectedness is a healthy and important part of emotional development in children. It can improve your child’s overall happiness and increase their self-confidence. Notice how much time they spend in their room, encourage them to come out more and help them schedule social time a little more often.
Appreciate Little Things: It’s not always natural to think about the positive details of our days. When your child comes home from school, do they recount good things that happened that day? Ask your child to notice and remember what was positive, even the littlest things, to help them start to think and feel better. For example, talking to a friend, sitting with someone nice at lunch, being complimented by a teacher, learning something interesting. No matter how big or small the example, the key is to emphasize and praise your child’s ability to appreciate it.
- Positive Journaling: You can encourage your child to keep a positive journal, with the goal of writing down 3 good things that happen each day. Bedtime is a great time for this. It helps them reflect on their day in the best way possible. You can also encourage them to plan for the next day, i.e. things they can do to make it a good day, nice things they can say to others, etc.
- Positive Memories: Help your child stay in touch with past experiences that helped them feel happy or proud. If they can’t remember, help them access moments they felt good while around family, friends or accomplishing something special. Review the details of these moments so they can reconnect. Be sure to plan ahead for future experiences, as well, to give your child something to look forward to (and create new positive memories).
Take Care of Ourselves: It is important for your child to learn the value of self-care. Do they eat regular meals? Are they getting a good nights’ sleep? Are they staying active in some way? If they don’t already know why these are important, talk about it together. Not having these basic needs met can cause more irritability and distress. Together, you can create healthy goals, such as going on more walks outside, putting electronics away before bed, and eating balanced meals.
Random Acts of Kindness: Doing something nice for someone makes them feel happy, and it bounces that happiness right back to you.Parents, think about how good it feels when you make your child happy by doing something kind. You do it out of instinct, but your child can learn to do it out of purpose and value. Having a sense of purpose gives your child something to feel good about. Random acts of kindness don’t have to be grand gestures. They might be simple gestures like holding the door open for someone, telling a joke, saying hello to someone in the hallway, or doing a chore without being asked. Parents, no child is too young to experience the joy of brightening someone else’s day!
Ultimately, all of us are going to have some bad experiences in our lives. No one gets a free pass from anger, sadness or stress. However, if we can help children build more happiness into their lives, perhaps the good experiences will outweigh the bad ones.
If your child is struggling with excessive sadness or possible depression, always consult with a licensed mental health professional for a proper assessment and treatment plan. Contact us at info@bestselfinc.com for more information.