Best Self Family Post
Confidence: A Powerful Antidote to Childhood Anxiety
6/18/2025
When a child experiences anxiety, it can often feel as if fear is in control—shaping everyday routines through school refusal, bedtime struggles, physical complaints, or social withdrawal. As parents and caregivers, our natural instinct is to protect, comfort, or fix. While these responses come from a place of deep love, over time they may unintentionally reinforce a disempowering message: You can’t handle this without me.
But what anxious children often need most isn’t less fear—it’s more confidence. Confidence that they are safe. Confidence that they are capable. Confidence that they can face discomfort and still move forward. Helping children believe in their ability to do hard things, even when they feel afraid, is one of the most powerful ways to reduce anxiety in the long term.
Self-efficacy refers to an individual’s belief in their capacity to handle life’s challenges. Research shows a strong connection between low self-efficacy and high anxiety in both children and adults. When children doubt their ability to cope, even everyday stressors can feel insurmountable. Anxious children often lack the inner belief that they can manage tough situations.
The encouraging news is that confidence is not an inborn trait—it’s a skill that can be developed, especially when parents and caregivers are intentional in their support. Confidence provides a buffer between children and their anxious thoughts. When a child believes, “I can handle this, even if I don’t like it,” they’re more likely to approach rather than avoid a feared situation. And that approach—however small—creates an opportunity for growth.
Each time a child confronts a fear or anxious thought and gets through it, they gather internal evidence: I did it. I survived. These experiences begin to reshape their brain’s response to fear, slowly shifting the narrative from avoidance to resilience.
Signs of Anxiety
While many of us associate anxiety with excessive worry, specific fears, or physical symptoms like stomach aches or headaches, it’s important to also watch for other common—but often overlooked—signs of anxiety in children:
Emotional Signs
- Frequent reassurance-seeking
- Irritability or moodiness
- Tearfulness or frequent crying
- Overreaction to small problems
- Fear of making mistakes or being judged
Behavioral Signs
- Avoidance (e.g., refusing to go to school, avoiding social situations or specific activities)
- Trouble separating from parents or caregivers
- Perfectionism or excessive need for control
- Meltdowns or tantrums, especially before or during transitions
- Reluctance to try new things
Physical Signs
- Frequent stomach aches, headaches, or nausea with no medical explanation
- Trouble falling or staying asleep
- Fatigue or low energy
- Changes in appetite
- Muscle tension, restlessness, or fidgeting
Cognitive Signs
- “What if” thinking or catastrophizing
- Difficulty concentrating or focusing
- Memory issues or seeming distracted
- Low self-esteem or self-critical thoughts
- Constant need for reassurance, even after being answered
How Parents Can Help Build Confidence
1. Praise the Bravery, Not Just the Outcome
Celebrate the effort and courage it took to try something difficult—even if the result wasn’t perfect. “That looked really hard, and you did it anyway. That’s what bravery looks like.”
2. Model Confident Thinking
Children internalize the way we talk about challenges. Use self-talk that reflects persistence and self-belief. “This is tough, but I can figure it out.”
3. Support Gradual Steps Forward
Break overwhelming situations into smaller steps. Confidence grows when children have repeated opportunities to try, stumble, and try again—with support, not pressure.
4. Resist the Urge to Rescue
When we jump in too quickly, we may unintentionally suggest they can’t do it without us. Instead, pause, validate, and support them in finding their own way forward. “I know this feels hard. I’m here, and I believe you can handle it.”
While therapy is a valuable resource for children managing anxiety, the consistent support, modeling, and encouragement they receive at home can be even more transformative. By helping children build confidence—not by avoiding it, but by moving through it—you’re not minimizing their anxiety. You’re empowering them to rise above it.