Best Self Family Post
Helping your Teen with Peer Pressure
7/27/19
Part of being a parent means worrying about your child and the different pressures they may face. People tend to give in to peer pressure out of a normal, sometimes intense, need for belonging amongst peers. How can you help your child to navigate tricky situations?
Peer pressure is something that affects everyone, regardless of their age. Developmentally, teens can be more affected as they try to find their place in the world. Peer pressure is the feeling that you have to do something in order to fit in and feel accepted by others. Peer pressure doesn’t just look like pushing someone into doing things like drugs, alcohol or sex. It can also look like pushing someone into doing things they just don’t want to do, like joining a sports team.
How You Can Help:
Educate Your Child: The first important step is to educate your child about what peer pressure can look like. Peer pressure can be overt or subtle. Have a conversation with your child about peer pressure and go through different examples of situations to help them understand what it looks like as well as improve their ability to recognize it in the moment. You can open up to them about your own experiences as a way to normalize these situations.
Explore Opinions: Encourage your child to think through their preferences and opinions on different topics ahead of time. Have them brainstorm what their values and beliefs are Then, when they are put into a difficult situation, they can reflect back on the limits that they set themselves and use that as motivation to not give in.
Plan Ahead: Have your child think about how they can respond in the moment to potential uncomfortable situations. There are three different potential ways they can respond. One is saying no or coming up with an alternative way to say no. These could be “Not now, but maybe another time” or “I can’t today.” Another option is using some sort of excuse like “I have to get up early tomorrow.” Finally, they can deflect by using humor or changing the subject like, “Did you see the game the other night?” Whatever they choose, responding with confidence is key.
Stop and Think: All the planning in the world won’t help if your child doesn’t take a minute to think before they respond in the moment. When confronted, suggest your child take a minute prior to responding by saying “Hang on a second.” They can ask themselves, “What are the potential consequences to this decision?” or “How do I feel about this?” before making a decision.
Positive Self Talk: Remind your child that they don’t have to do anything they don’t want to or that makes them feel uncomfortable. Have a conversation about healthy and unhealthy relationships to assist them with understanding that true friends will respect them and their decisions. Help identify other ways to feel like they belong and how to make friends with similar interests.
The better equipped your teen is when it comes to navigating difficult situations, the more resilient they will be throughout their lives. They will continue to apply these lessons throughout adulthood and be on track to become the outstanding adults you are raising them to be!