Best Self Family Post
High Achieving Teens (Healthy, Too)
10/3/23
If you, or your teen, are considered a high achiever – you probably already know how much your mindset matters. We like to also ensure that you’re taking great care of your mental health, too, which is necessary if you truly want to conquer all your goals!
You’re probably also quite familiar with the phrase “practice makes perfect”. But what exactly is “perfect”? If you receive a “perfect score” of 100% on an exam, does that mean there’s no room for improvement?
It’s a natural human instinct to strive for perfection and reach our greatest potential. We also must be able to accept our failures, learn from them and try again. It’s important to leave room for errors and make peace with the process of improvement.
Overly perfectionist mindsets can inhibit our ability to accept and benefit from failure. So perhaps a better mantra to focus on is, “practice makes progress!” Let’s focus more on what is “our best” versus what is “the best”.
Some mental wellness tips for the high achiever, along their journey to success:
1. Learn From (And Welcome) Mistakes
As humans, it is perfectly normal and ok to make mistakes. They are bound to happen! Most importantly, it is what we do with our mistakes that makes all of the difference. Try not to beat yourself up over it. Instead, recognize where you may have gone wrong and adjust accordingly. Mistakes provide a wonderful opportunity to grow and become more resilient. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes, but those that own their mistakes and make positive changes, are the ones setting themselves up for success!
2. Set Realistic Goals & Expectations
We have a better chance of achieving our goals when they are realistic and attainable. Try breaking your goals down into smaller steps. Keep track of the goals you set for yourself by writing them down and holding yourself accountable. When we achieve our goals we feel good about ourselves! As a result, we increase our confidence and prove to ourselves that we can do it!
3. Maintain A Growth Mindset
Focus on the process rather than the results. As a society, we have been encouraged to emphasize the results, such as win vs lose. Instead, I suggest you focus more on the process and effort you put forth. For instance, if you get an 85% on a math test, rather than saying “That is not good enough, I better get an “A” next time” try saying to yourself “I studied and tried my best. I am proud of the effort I put in.” Adjusting your language to reflect a positive, growth mindset will instill in yourself that you are worthy and capable of improving. There is always room for growth, but keep in mind all of the amazing things that you are already doing!
4. Protect Your Own Self-Image
Practice utilizing positive self-talk. Some examples could include: “I tried my best, and I will try again tomorrow”, “Tomorrow is a new day”, “My body is capable of amazing things.” Be kinder to yourself. Ask yourself, would you speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself? Create a list of all the strengths you possess, and come back to those when you are feeling lesser than. You are you, and that is good enough!
5. Remember Locus of Control
Focus on things that are within your control. In life, many things are out of our control, and we have to learn to accept that. Ask yourself, can I do or change anything about this situation? If the answer is no, shift your focus and energy towards something that is more productive and tangible. Easier said than done. However, we only have so much energy to give, and if we continue to spend time towards things out of our control, inevitably that energy will run out. Protect your energy!
We all want to be the best that we can be. Sometimes that requires taking a step back and recognizing what is realistic and reasonable for ourselves. Everyday provides an opportunity for growth. Take advantage of all of life’s twists and turns. Once you find the path that works best for you, it will be worth it!