Best Self Family Post
Making Everyday Moments Therapeutic
6/12/2025
As a child and family therapist, I often hear parents express a deep desire to support their child’s emotional well-being– followed by the worry that they’re simply too busy to “do it right”. The truth is, you don’t need hours of uninterrupted time, elaborate plans, or a psychology degree to support your child’s mental health. Everyday moments–yes, even the messy, rushed, imperfect ones– hold powerful opportunities for connection and healing.
In fact, research shows that the quality of parent-child interactions matters far more than quantity. A study from the Journal of Marriage and Family (2015) found that the amount of time parents spend with their children does not predict children’s outcomes as strongly as the emotional tone and presence within those moments. This is great news for busy parents. It means your small efforts, when intentional and emotionally attuned, can have a lasting impact.
Here are a few ways you can make everyday moments therapeutic:
1. Narrate and Validate Feelings
When your child is upset–whether they spilled their juice or didn’t get picked first–take a moment to name and validate their feelings. Try: “You’re feeling really frustrated right now, that makes sense.” Helping children name their emotions activates the brain’s prefrontal cortex, promoting emotional regulation and integration.
2. Use Transitions as Touchpoints
Getting into the car, brushing teeth, or saying goodnight are often rushed – but these routines are also anchors in your child’s day. Use them as opportunities to check in. Even a 30-second pause to say, “I love starting and ending the day with you”, builds emotional safety and strengthens your relationship.
3. Practice “Serve and Return”
This developmental concept, backed by Harvard’s Center on the Developing Child, refers to the back-and-forth interactions between a child and caregiver. When your child points, talks or looks at you–respond. It can be as simple as a smile, a gentle comment or eye contact. These micro-moments also help your child build essential communication and social skills.
As a parent, you’re already doing more than you think. You don’t need perfect words or large gestures– you just need presence, curiosity and compassion. Everyday moments–getting shoes on, driving to school, sharing a snack–are rich with opportunities to connect, regulate and support your child’s emotional development. And when you respond with warmth and intention, those small moments become therapeutic ones.
Remember, your presence is the most powerful tool you have. Your unconditional positive regard for your children provides security and well being long into their future. Even on your busiest days, showing up with a listening ear, a validating word, or a loving glance helps your child feel seen, safe and secure. That’s not just good parenting–that’s good therapy, too.