Best Self Family Post
Supporting Your Child’s LGBTQ+ Journey
11/06/22
As human beings, we strive to achieve self-love and belonging. For some, this journey can be a lifelong process. It is completely normal for an individual to explore various sides of themselves until they find what they are looking for. What might they be looking for? It may be a need to express themselves authentically that they seek, or a way to overcome what is in their way along the road. Parents can provide children with loving responses that maintain connection, security and most importantly - unconditional love.
LGBTQ+ community members experience a variety of struggles when coming out to their family and friends. Occasionally, they are faced with a lack of acceptance and support, which in return can cause significant turmoil down the road. For instance, the LGBTQ+ community has shown to have higher rates of depression, substance use, and risk of suicide. Providing a loving and supportive environment for an individual that is questioning their sexual/gender identity is essential for their well-being.
How can a parent provide such support? Start by educating yourself on the topic. It is okay to not know all the answers. Present with curiosity and be willing to learn more as you go along this journey with your child. This topic raises concerns about the future for some parents, and we encourage you to remember it truly is a ‘journey’. Staying present in the moment and being available as a loving listener for your child is key for their sense of safety and attachment. It may also be helpful to keep in mind, how the world they are growing up in today may differ from your own experience. Be available, ask what they need from you.
Always respond in affirming and empathic ways: “Thank you for telling me, I can imagine that may have been quite difficult for you” or “You are my child, and I love you no matter what.” Using this type of language will encourage your child to continue seeking support from you. You can demonstrate that you are a safe space for your child by simply stating: “Thank you for being so open and honest, I am always here to listen.”
Always keep an eye on your child’s mental and physical health. Signs of depression, anxiety, substance use, or any other social/emotional concerns may arise. Some of these signs include but are not limited to: withdrawal, eating changes, sleeping changes, mood swings, irritability, fatigue, and risky behaviors.
Along with providing support for your child, it is just as important to seek your own support. Joining a support group with fellow parents in the community can help you feel connected and understood. Speaking with your own therapist can provide an opportunity to speak freely with no judgment. Navigating your child’s journey to self love can seem overwhelming at times, and you should never have to face that alone.
Terms to know:
Gender identity: “One’s internal sense of who one is, based on an interaction of biological traits, developmental influences, and environmental conditions. This may be male, female, somewhere in between, a combination of both or neither. Self-recognition of gender identity develops over time, much the same way a child’s physical body does.” (healthychildren.org)
Sexual orientation: “One’s sexual identity as it relates to who someone falls in love with or is attracted to. A person who is transgender still identifies as straight, gay, bisexual or something else. Like gender identity, an individual’s physical and emotional attraction to a member of the same or the opposite sex cannot be changed and is very difficult to predict early in childhood.” (healthychildren.org)
Transgender: identifying with a different gender than the one assigned at birth.
Resources:
https://www.samhsa.gov/behavioral-health-equity/lgbtqi
https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/
https://www.cdc.gov/lgbthealth/youth-resources.htm
https://www.childwelfare.gov/topics/systemwide/diverse-populations/lgbtq/lgbt-families/