Best Self Family Post
The "Good Side" of Worry
11/15/17
Take a moment and think about some of the people you know and might refer to as “worriers”. Now, how many of those people would you also consider highly responsible? Or high achieving? Some teens who worry excessively struggle in school, while others channel their worry into academic success.
There are many successful, well- known CEOs who admit to experiencing higher levels of anxiety. It’s important that children and teens know, that anxiety does not automatically equal a difficult future. Those who learn how to balance, and master, this feeling do not allow it to stop them from reaching their goals.
Sometimes we overlook the benefits of our emotions and focus only on the problem areas. This can lead children to feel like something is wrong with them and their emotions. So, when they start to feel worried, they think “Oh no!” It is important to teach children that all emotions have pros and cons. As hard as it is to feel anxious, there might just be a good side to it as well…
So what are some of the potential benefits to worrying?
High achievement: Worriers may set higher goals for themselves than those who don’t worry. They have high expectations for themselves and the (right amount of) worry pushes them to continue to work towards meeting those expectations.
Conscientiousness: Worriers tend to be more detail oriented and conscientious of deadlines/due dates. They may be more motivated to use organizational systems that help them succeed.
Strong work ethic: Worriers tend to put extra time and effort into what they do in all aspects of their lives. This can be applied to personal growth, friendships, mastery of hobbies, etc.
More appreciation of neutral and positive outcomes: A part of worrying means jumping to conclusions and thinking about the worst case scenario. Worriers can use this automatic thinking FOR themselves instead of AGAINST themselves. This takes hard work but involves recognizing these terrible outcomes are not likely, and instead, appreciating good outcomes. At the very least, they can prepare themselves for any logical challenges ahead and end up feeling more empowered than scared.
Better decision making: Worriers essentially have a built in warning system that alerts them to important or meaningful things. They may be more aware of what could potentially go wrong which leads them to take a second look at specific situations. This ability to think further about other options can lead to improved problem solving. They can learn to channel this by considering the variety of possible outcomes that could happen as a result of their actions. The worry helps them to think through their decisions versus acting without thinking.
Insight and self-awareness: Being generally thoughtful people, they tend to look inward more often. This can lead to greater self-awareness, personal growth and emotional intelligence.
It’s helpful to recognize these potential benefits of worry, so that you can help your child identify their own strengths as they grow older. They need to make peace with anxiety, as we all do.
Yes, worrying excessively can be problematic and create difficulties for your child/teen. It is important to be able to manage excessive worry so that it doesn’t get out of control. It helps to reframe the pain of worry, into positive action they can take because this feeling is pushing them. So instead of thinking “oh no” when they start to feel worried, they think “okay, what is my worry trying to tell me?” Talk about the nature of worry, as well as the up sides, and your child can become more confident in their ability to regulate their emotions and charge on to a successful future!