Best Self Family Post
Grateful Hearts, Stronger Bonds
11/18/18
For years, I have explored the topic of gratitude with my clients in therapy. We work to ensure it remains a priority in our lives (myself, included) for the plentiful health benefits associated. Lately I’ve been even more interested in how gratitude also improves our relationships with loved ones. Psychology studies found that individuals who took time to express gratitude for a loved one, in turn felt more positively toward this person and also more comfortable expressing concerns about the relationship.
Gratitude helps us refocus on what we have, instead of what we lack. As we practice gratitude, we strengthen our mental state and increase positive emotion. If we focus our grateful thoughts onto our loved ones, we strengthen our bonds and even become more attractive to them. It’s like the world’s greatest emotional 2-for-1.
How can we cultivate more gratitude into our families and friendships? Start by verbally acknowledging those little, everyday things your partner does for you or your family. Send a friend a text thanking them for something they did for you, or simply remind them why you value their friendship. Call a parent unexpectedly and thank them for a lesson they taught you that has served you well. Notice a theme, here? None of these concepts involved material gifts. That’s because the gift of gratitude, just like a strong relationship, will outlast a store bought gift any day of the week.
No matter their age, I believe the best way to ensure you are raising grateful children is to create a ritual that feels good to your family. One of my very favorite rituals involves designating one Sunday each month to sit down together and write gratitude letters. Everyone can think of someone who makes an impact on their life and write a short thank you note, card or letter (little ones can have adults write their words).
Research suggests that reading your note aloud, to the person its intended to, delivers the greatest impact. Next best, send it to them. Children, especially, love to deliver these by hand. The resulting happiness spreads to both parties and the relationship is nurtured. Taking time to write these out also means they may be kept as little treasures, the gift that keeps on giving (especially on those rainy days!).